i tot tt the singapore association here was going to take us ard to familiarise us with the place todae at 10. so i arrived at hillhead underground at 945.. thinking tt i had 15 min to spare. by 1010 i figured tt something -must- be wrong. it's not possible for -everyone- to be late. so i checked the sms i got from charlotte... and realised tt the thing was supposed to be ydae.
i am wondering how i'm going to survive here. i was wrong when i said tt i can onli depend on myself and God from now on. i can onli depend on God.. not myself. definitely not myself. the last time i depended on my own memory and judgement with no outside help and prompts was when i sent yingmin off. and tt time i reached the airport 2hrs earlier. which is actually better than being one dae late.
oh and i went to a church todae.. siu kwan's bf's church. siu kwan fyi.. is a 4th yr medic.. and also one of the nicest pple i have ever met in my whole life. she's been taking care of me ever since i arrived here in this angmoh-filled place. and her bf's name is baldwin. tt's his birthcert name btw. he's a hongkonger.. which -may- explain his parents' preferance for names..
aniwae.. the church is a branch of a church in singapore.. not tt i've heard of it. calvary charismatic church. it's 80% asians.. and the pastor is a singaporean. after the church service i went to this christian fellowship for international students.. where i met lots of singaporeans.. and malaysians.. and an indonesian. (plus a few other nationalities.) and i realised how big the chinese minority is in glasgow. which puts me slightly more at ease.. and brightens my mood a little. haha. they're realli nice pple.. friendly.. and eager to help in aniwae. (tho not as nice as siu kwan obviously.)
this is quite out of point.. but i haf to sae it. i dun think i'll get attached while i'm here. my mom's been warning me not to get attached until i'm in my 4th yr at least. tho i am so sure i wun.. it still irked me tt someone who got married when she was 20 is telling me not to get attached till i'm 22. okaaaeee. aniwae the point is it's totally improbable for me to get attached while i'm in glasgow. i mean.. u jus have to look ard here to realise tt la. gedwadimean?
back to the point.. went to church.. and it struck me tt perhaps it's realli God's plan for me to be here. maybe this is the place i'll grow in maturity. (it's inevitable when u have to take care of urself.) right now i'm still far from independence. i'm irritated by myself but i can't help it. not when someone as nice as siu kwan is there to take care of u and to help u wif every little thing. she's like my da jie here haha. which is nice.. in a veri childish sorta way.
back in singapore.. i sometimes wish i'm attached. haha and for all the wrong reasons.. coz i noe i'm totally not ready for a relationship.. seeing how immature i am. sometimes when i'm walking ard orchard i'll see cute little things tt i can onli buy if i haf a bf.. and i'll wish i haf one. or when i need someone to help me wif something or to accompany me to some place and no one is available.. i'll wish i haf a bf to do everything i say.
here in glasgow i feel it more often. i'm alwaes alone.. and i'm virtually frenless. i dun mean acquaintances of coz.. i'm talking abt close frens and frens i'm comfortable wif. and every few hrs i'll wish i haf someone to be wif me and keep me company and and make me feel loved and keep me warm. and this feeling sucks. esp since i noe tt it's impossible to get a bf in this angmoh-filled place.
but it's ok.. soon sch will start and i'll make a point to be friendly. and make lots of frens. 5 yrs is a long time and i'm not going to spend them frenless. i mean.. if i could have frens like those i haf in 3g.. why can't i haf frens as well here? rite? rite.
this is getting too long.. and i still dun haf internet access. typing all these on notepad. haiz. wait till i matriculate.
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