seasons out of time
There is no remembrance of men of old,
and even those who are yet to come
will not be remembered
by those who follow.
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
untold scandal was okaaaeee. not tt great.. but not bad. i kinda like lady cho. the actress not the character. lee mi sook.. i think. aniwae.. i've never been a korean show enthusiast... and i dun think i ever will.. but i admit that untold scandal was worth watching.. apart from the dodgy parts. gave me goosebumps.
oh yeah.. candice.. my mother said she wun ever let me watch tt kinda show anymore. ha. i didn't even bring the topic up.. she just told me as we were going home. oh well.. not tt it matters.. i dun think i will watch them anymore.. even after i'm officially 21.
back to the show.. i think it's realli sad. leaves u with a different feeling from cruel intentions. cruel intentions is just plain perverted. even the ending is like.. revenge is sweet kinda thing. this is.. more of.. sadness, regret, fragility.
i like lady cho btw.. haha.
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
slap me when i start complaining excessively abt anything from now on..
i realise how irritating it is to listen to pple criticising nonstop about every bl**dy thing. esp when u don't agree with what they say.. and think that they're just being overly critical. cmon.. no one and nothing is perfect. welcome to the real world.. to quote mairi.
they criticise our tutors when both of them couldn't accompany us to the hospice. i mean.. would it have made any difference if they had come? not realli.. tho it would be -nicer- to have someone bring us there etc. but no.. i don't think it would matter that much. and they're busy pple pls!! why can't they understand that?!
they criticise our tutor's husband.. bcos they think he's sexist.. and not very nice.. and old (cmon wat business is it of urs if their age gap is big anot?!).. and lots of other things. he wasn't that bad seriously. he wasn't even the least bit bad. i tot he was fine. i mean.. he's not the kind that u'll think is dem nice (like my ou xiang).. but there's nothing seriously wrong with him.
and todae.. he brought us to the casualty department. 3 hrs with him. and at the end of it.. someone went, well he isn't that bad. and i tot to myself.. well u were the one being overly critical in the first place. ok.. it's unfair to direct it only to that person.. since ALL of them (apart from one or two) were going on and on abt how they don't like him etc.
it's realli realli irritating listening to how negative pple can be.. negative about OTHER pple especially. hey!! wake up!! u're not perfect urself!! i can't realli say anything. i mean.. i'm not exactly popular among the angmohs.. i dun want to make myself UNpopular. but sometimes it's hard to keep quiet.. when they go on and on..
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
tired..
went out the whole day todae. left my place at 9.. came back at 10. 9 am and 10 pm i mean. tired tired tired. and still haven't started my coursework. i wonder how i'm going to finish it..
ok.. this is going to bore u.. but i'm jus writing it down so i can remember wat i did todae.. (note to tiffany: if u're not going to read thru this whole chunk of stuff.. pls at least skip to the paragraph that starts with "after lunch we bought chocolates...")
reached xueying's n kumaran's hotel at 10. waited for them to shower n all until 11. den i brought the two of them ard the university to look ard. at nearly 12 we went to ommena's place.. cos i was supposed to pass kumaran to her. sat ard in her room for a while. den me n xueying left.
we -walked- to the city. had lunch at la tasca's.. and spent 10 pounds!! i'm totally amazed. we ate so little.. cos xueying had a huge breakfast.. and me.. i'm going back in a few days' time n my grandma threatened not to bring me out to eat if i gained weight again.
after lunch we bought chocolates and ice cream (this is different.. i haven't had ice cream for a long time..). den we caught a movie at 2.40.. lost in translation. tiffany it totally SUCKED!!! i knew it. i slept through half of it. i fell asleep right after they sang some karaoke.. n woke up when tt old man woke up with a woman singing in the shower. stupid show. i've NEVER EVER realli fallen asleep watching a movie b4.. even in in e mood for love i onli dozed off for a few sec each time.
after 2 hrs which seemed like 4.. we walked to marriott hotel to buy things at the souvenier shop. closed.. so we went to hilton. nothing nice there. so we walked back to the city centre. by then it was 6. i tell u it's dem tiring. aniwae we went to marks n spencer to haf ice chocolate n choc muffin (i haven't had them for ages as well..). at 7 we left to go back to the hotel. took the bus cos we were so tired..
730.. went for dinner at this scottish restaurant next to the hotel. the scots must have huge appetite.. i was so full at the end of the meal. (wasn't my fault.. i tot it wouldn't be so much..) we talked for a long long time.. at 9 we left. and abt half an hr later i took the taxi back home.
so my day ended.. a busy day. not much done.. but i wouldn't call it a waste. i haven't seen xueying for so long aniwae.. since prom. and that was more than a year ago.
Monday, March 15, 2004
i'm collecting boxes now. my favourite pastime.. my hobby.. wadever u call that phase in primary sch where u collect stamps n stickers n insects.
i find myself getting all excited when i get a box. i can actually feel the adrenaline rush.. the feeling of achievement.. and accomplishment. i see a box lying ard.. and i look for one of those cleaning ladies, "hi can i have it?" or if it's jus lying ard for me to take.. i just take it.
i sound like a nutcase.
i wonder how many boxes i need to pack all the things in my room...
Saturday, March 13, 2004
i feel like crying. ok maybe not crying.. more like.. i feel like throwing a tantrum. like some 5 yr old.
i hate packing. nearly as much as i hate unpacking. and i haf to pack ALL my things into the storeroom b4 i go back for the hol. @#$%^&*!!! i dun understand why!! ****** hall doesn't NEED my room.. why do i have to clear it?!?!
and the worst thing is.. (knowing i haf to pack is bad enuf..) my mother was saying that i can just pay them to let me keep my room. made me so happy.. den i told her it'll cost 200 pounds.. and so.. i'm back at square one. i still have to pack.
how unfair is that?!?! make me happy for nothing!!!
i feel like breaking things now...
Thursday, March 11, 2004
that poem totally sums up how i feel..
the temperate zone affords me no ease unto my pain.. the pain of boredom.. of stagnant days.. of feeling nothing. gosh! i want something to happen in my life!!! there's nothing.. NOTHING AT ALL.. happening to me. or even around me.
i have so many reasons for not updating my blog..
1) i have nothing to write
2) i have nothing to tell
3) i have nothing to show
...
...
...
isn't this sad.. but at least i'm feeling sad that i'm so bored.. so i can write abt my sadness over my boredom. great.
Mediocrity in Love Rejected
- Thomas Carew (1598 - 1639)
Give me more love, or more disdain;
The torrid or the frozen zone
Bring equal ease unto my pain;
The temperate affords me none;
Either extreme, of love or hate,
Is sweeter than a calm estate.
Give me a storm; if it be love,
Like Danae in that golden shower,
I swim in pleasure; if it prove
Disdain, that torrent will devour
My vulture hopes; and he's possessed
Of heaven that's but from hell released.
Then crown my joys, or cure my pain;
Give me more love, or more disdain.
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
went to a hospice for vs today.
it felt so sad.. not that it's a depressing place.. not at all. it was bright n cheery n homely.. the wae i had alwaes pictured a british home.. (until i came here that is..). there were sofas everywhere.. so u can sit down n chat anywhere u want. the windows overlook the garden.. bright green garden with flowers n a fountain. it's the homeli-ness of it all that made it so sad. who can help comparing it to everywhere else. why is it that u get this kind of homeli-ness onli in a hospice? when u're at the end..
specialising in palliative care or geriatrics is definitely something i will consider..
wonder why this kind of things appeal to me. i used to want to be an oncologist.. and i still want to.. just tt i'm keeping my options open. e pt is.. why do these areas of specialisation appeal to pple? (well maybe not to pple in general.. but at least me..) they all deal with pple at the end of their lives.. which shld put pple off.. shldn't it? then why do they appeal to me? i dun feel this wae abt a&e med or neurology or opthalmology etc etc.
maybe it's just a phase..
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
sometimes disappointment is inevitable. realised tt learning to cope and live with it is more important than preventing it.
living up to ur own expectations doesn't mean that the people around u will manage to as well. i suppose not many will be able to. and if u can't accept them for who they are.. at the end of the day u'll onli be bringing inconvenience to urself. so what's the point..
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