seasons out of time
There is no remembrance of men of old,
and even those who are yet to come
will not be remembered
by those who follow.
Sunday, October 31, 2004
thank you so much tiffany.. i hope it's going to turn out ok. no actually.. more than ok. i'll pray hard..
!!! i forgot they set back the clocks an hr today!!! i could have slept another hr!!! darn darn darn..
Saturday, October 30, 2004
hooooooooooow?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
i'm only 10% through my coursework!! how am i going to finish it by tmr?
aniwae it wasn't really my fault. apart from me being not very focused. i did that 10% bit right after brunch. then i got tired.. so i took a 1hr nap. then himara called me (and woke me up) to go to the vet sch to hand in her work. and we ended up roaming ard the vet sch for aaages cos the door was locked and we were trying to find someone to open it.
when we got back we realised it was 5!! showered n it was time for dinner. after dinner karen came over n used the comp. then himara used the comp. then perry came over. and we ended up talking till now.
can u believe it? that's why i haven't done much..
Friday, October 29, 2004
amazing.. helen fielding must be a jane austen fan. and she seems to have similar taste to me. i mean, the first bridget jones is loosely based on pride and prejudice (my favourite jane austen book. actually.. make that my favourite book) and the second one is loosely based on persuasion (my second favourite jane austen book..) it's amazing.
saw karen while waiting for my turn for the formative assessment with my facilititor.. and she said she'll be at the atrium with some other 3rd yrs n my ou xiang..
so after my formative assessment i went to the atrium. i was supposed to meet karen for lunch. and my ou xiang saw me and waved. so i waved back. n i ended up sitting with them. i wasn't going to.. cos i thot it wasn't very appropriate. but he asked me what was wrong with their table.. so.
anyway it wasn't much. sat there listening quietly while he talked to the 3rd yrs. oh and he told me his new house is completed. (random..)
have to complete my coursework by this weekend. my ou xiang said he'll look at it on monday. i'm really worried though. i want to do well for it. (this is a first for me.. actually -caring- about coursework..) i don't want him to read a mediocre piece of work.
Thursday, October 28, 2004
saw malcolm across the road yesterday on the way to sch. he was at the cash machine so i thot i'll go over and say hi. crossed the road.. and just as i reached the other side.. he crossed the road.
the worst bit is that if i hadn't crossed.. if i had just continued walking straight.. i would have met him right at the spot he crossed.
that was such a minor thing.. but it shld haf said something to me. or maybe it did.. maybe it was screaming at me.. and maybe i heard it.. but i didn't listen. or today could have been avoided..
take it as a lesson learnt.. there won't be a next time. i promise myself that.
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
tiffany.. i'm so tired now..
ur fuchsia lights cost ₤25
i had to travel so the bus ride is ₤2.20
and i got so hungry i had to eat.. that's ₤2.70
and bcos i was in town i saw this pair of earrings and bought it.. that's ur fault too so it's ₤5.99
i'll do the math for u.. that's a total of ₤35.89
exchange rate today is ₤1 for S$3.0607
so that means u owe me S$109.85 (to 5 s.f.)
and including what u owe me from last hol (S$38.90).. it's S$148.75 altogether.
Monday, October 25, 2004
i just remembered something..
my ou xiang, joking: a lot of trouble isn't she?
chanty, not joking: you give me no end of troubles.
it's no wonder he's my ou xiang..
Sunday, October 24, 2004
nice? bought it yday.. my nightlamp. heh. i really like it.. so u guys had better tell me that it's beautiful.
Friday, October 22, 2004
i'm so proud of myself. i really did start on my coursework last night.. believe it or not.
went to see my ou xiang today. i think i'm imposing on him. i mean.. i've seen him 4 out of 5 days this week. and for someone who isn't taught by him.. that's quite a lot. anyway.. i went up to the clinical skills suite at ard 1130.. slightly early.. but that's deliberate.
was peeping in.. watching the 3rd yrs do their thing. i think he spotted me n waved. so i waved back. and he told me to go over.. so i did.. gladly. ha.
he asked me if i have any problems with my coursework. not really but i do have some qns.. like i spent the whole night ydae coming up with all these point i wasn't so sure abt. he asked me if i have a soft copy of what i've done. and i was like.. i may be enthusiastic but not THAT enthusiastic. i haven't even written a word of the actual thing. ok i didn't say that.. but that was going thru my mind. so i told him i onli wrote down in point form what i'm not sure abt.
so after watching the 3rd yrs play ard with the tendon hammer.. he asked me to go over whatever i wasn't sure about. so we did. and.. (i'm so proud of myself).. last night's work wasn't in vain. my points did make sense. and he even said that he thought that way when he read the article too!
i'm becoming a very dedicated student.. thanks to my ou xiang.
i'm convinced that he's my healthiest obsession ever..
p/s: karen is mean. i was knocking her elbow with the tendon hammer.. and my ou xiang asked her if she knew me. and she told him we stay together. and then he started shaking his head and commiserating with her about what trouble i am (in jest of course!!) and she AGREED WITH HIM! why can't she say something like, "oh no.. she's a really sweet and lovely girl.." hmph.
Thursday, October 21, 2004
i don't believe myself.. i'm actually starting to do my coursework. it's due in nov.. since when did i start doing my coursework earlier than one day before the deadline?
the things i do for my ou xiang..
"are you checking it novalia?" in front of -everyone- during lecture.. gosh
my ou xiang wasn't sure abt wat we had to define for our coursework. i was flipping thru my notes to check and he saw that (i was sitting right in the middle of the 3rd row ha. eye level. perfect spot).
makes me feel like i'm his personal assistant hahaha.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
i met my ou xiang on the road today.
does that sound very coincidental? cos it's not. it was premeditated ha.
karen had community diagnosis with him today. and i had something at the queen mother's.. so i can't tag along even if i wanted to. anyway we arranged to meet after that.. since we were both supposed to end at 12. (so i can get to see my ou xiang!!)
12 o'clock came n went.. and karen had 11 missed calls on her mobile. after an hr of waiting n anticipation.. karen called to tell me they're walking past hilton!! so i rushed there as fast as my short legs could carry me and.. oh my.. i saw my ou xiang! was i surprised!! (yeah right..)
he was busy talking to greg.. this 3rd yr.. or i would have waved n gone over -immediately-. so i deliberately took my own sweet time. and he finally spotted me!! haha. he called me n i went over. and he hugged me!! ok not really.. more like a half-hug. two arms is a hug so one arm is a half-hug yeah? i was standing beside him n he put his arm (left) ard me. i was hua chi-ing inside..
basically that's it. we did talk for a while.. but nothing that will interest -anyone-. things like my banana (that i was peeling) and coursework and making an appointment with him if i need help with it (!!!).
it's amazing the things that happen when u've sorted out ur thoughts.
(oh and by the way.. the king james version of Hebrews 11:1 is so nice. check it out.)
Monday, October 18, 2004
在这里徘徊了好久好久
始终定不下心来
我的心是怎么了？
是装满了你的影子和回忆吗？
还是想念你到心都空洞了？
我想两者都不是
也许我的心早就被你掏出了一大半
被你掏出了知足和自信的那一半
而留下的只有渴望和犹豫
剩下一半的一颗心
在左心房里摇摇晃晃
始终定不下来
而我也终于明白了
“渴望”和“犹豫”没有了“知足”和“自信”
是安定不下的
went for the 3rd yr's clinical skills today.. as a volunteer. amazing.. the things i do for my ou xiang. this 3rd yr asked if i'm getting paid.. and he looked at me like i was crazy when i told him no. there were 3 others who volunteered for this.. i think they're crazier. at least i know what i'm doing this for.. ha.
i suppose my ou xiang is quite nice to me. when he came over to our group at the beginning of the lesson (the 3rd yrs are divided into 4 groups.. with one volunteer for each grp).. he said, " be gentle with her. she's from my vs grp."
hold on.. b4 u start thinking tt he's really nice to me.. let me explain. the above two sentences.. altho said one after the other.. have no cause-effect relationship. as in.. he's NOT telling them to be gentle with me BCOS i'm from his vs grp and therefore special. nope.. i wish. they're just 2 random sentences that were coincidentally joined together.
but yeah.. i suppose he's quite nice to me. telling them tt i was from his vs grp was hardly necessary. that action in itself was quite nice actually. (see i would use "sweet" instead of "nice".. just bcos "nice" is too general a word.. but "sweet" sounds.. well it just sounds weird.)
the 3rd yrs were going thru the musculoskeletal system.. and they told me to walk a certain distance (to the end of the 2nd bed.. to be precise) to observe my gait. and my ou xiang went to where i was supposed to walk to and stood there, "come novalia.. come come.. come here.."
that totally cracked me up. i could hardly walk straight. i mean.. how could i with him standing in front of me and beckoning to me like i was a baby?! not that i minded of course.. he's not my ou xiang for nothing. heh.
rebecca (this other girl who volunteered) used to be in robbie robertson's vs grp. (and i'm sure that THAT'S the reason she volunteered haha..) and he is so nice to her. i mean, like really nice. when rebecca's knee was going to be examined.. he especially went forward to tell the 3rd yr student to be careful cos she had tender knees. and during our tea break he sat next to her. and not just that of cos.. it's everything combined.. u can just FEEL it..
now why isn't my ou xiang so nice to me? he sat with the 3rd yrs during the break. and he didn't talk to me that much either. i mean.. u can't FEEL it even if u activated ur 6th 7th and 8th sense.
he's nice. period. he's nice to everyone. and i noe he's nice to me. but i'd rather he be nice to everyone and niceR to me..
i really shldn't be complaining shld i? just that i don't feel that different after all. but it doesn't matter. he's still my ou xiang no matter wat. even tho i didn't even get to say bye to him today. (yes that reminds me.. i saw him go into the harvey room after the clinical skills class with this grp of 2nd yr!!! wat are they doing?!?! i don't have any that-sort-of-class in MY timetable. grrrr..) it doesn't matter. i mean.. why expect too much? he's nice enuf to me as it is. right? i'm just being greedy..
i don't know how to put it across without an example.. so let's just make do with whatever comes to my mind right now.
i love green tea. as in heaven n earth green tea. i try to bring a bottle back to glasgow each time i have holiday. maybe that wasn't such a great idea. maybe it's better not to have something at all than to have it for a while. cos when it's over.. u miss it even more. each time u get another taste of it.. u start missing it all over again.
the happier u were when u were in the middle of it all.. the greater the disappointment when it had to end. and the worst bit is that u don't even know when u can experience it again..
but of course there's alwaes hope. i believe in 2 things in life.. trust and hope. (ha.. that sounds totally familiar). tomorrow will alwaes be a better day than today. i won't complain. today has been a GREAT day.. and i'm glad there's today.
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
i've put up an A4 sized picture of esumi makiko on the wall in front of my desk.
to me she's.. the epitome of class and elegance. she's tall, she's attractive, she's cool. and maybe bcos of love revolution.. i think she's smart, she's charming, she's strong. and if there's anyone i can safely say has the X factor.. it's her. i can't even explain why i can't seem to keep my eyes off her..
she motivates me.
(motivates.. not inspires. only my ou xiang inspires..)
if i'm a guy i'll fall head over heels in love with her.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Announcement:
Hello my wonderful friends!!! Do you play SIMS?? (the original AND the second one) if you do.. and if you know lots of tricks.. can you PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE teach me??
Monday, October 11, 2004
i shld be doing my pbl.. which is due in abt 9 hrs. but ended up reading my past entries. i must be really bored..
"i've learnt to be more independent, but haven't learnt to be more mature.
i've learnt to get used to being alone, but haven't learnt to appreciate solitude.
i've learnt to accept and live with the fact that i'm different, but i haven't learnt to treasure my differences.
i've learnt to think more and speak less, but my thoughts haven't changed."
wrote that nearly a yr ago. ha. i dun believe i actually came up with something so crappy. but in retrospect, i suppose that was quite true.. at that point in time.
i hope i've grown since then tho. 8mths may not seem like such a long time.. but it's long enuf to gather experience and learn.
in certain areas.. my thought have changed..
i have learnt to appreciate my differences.. if not treasure them..
and solitude is something i can really appreciate now.. something i look forward to even.
and.. maturity. well that remains to be seen haha..
Saturday, October 09, 2004
i'm still v happy. yday's happiness was too much for just one day.. haha.
Friday, October 08, 2004
那种如梦般的幸福
是说不出的幸福
也是不想说出的幸福
怕说了出来
就发觉
原来只是场幸福的梦
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
i'm so embarrassed.. i called the embassy today and i didn't even know wat i was talking abt. they must have thought i was an imbecile.
Monday, October 04, 2004
一个人的生活
我早就习惯了
邮箱没有你的信息
心里没有你的影子
都已经习惯了
没有联络你的理由
没有想念你的权利
只有一个人的自由
一个人开始独立生活
一个人学习独自前进
一个人的生活
我早就习惯了
我一定会习惯的
Saturday, October 02, 2004
昨晚我又梦见你
只是这一次还有那个她
而梦中传来一阵笑声
仿佛在告诉我
"你真的好傻"
但我却分不清楚
那轻轻让我清醒的笑声
是从哪里传来的
是你吗?
还是她?
还是...
是我的心
想告诉我这样痛下去
让它太委屈了
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